, Off Shah Industrial Estate, Veera Desai Road, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 058. 50, S. Phone: 022 2673 0975Option C — Cooperwala BhurjiIt’s raat ke dhaai baje and the shehnai bajaaoing in your head is the ethanol coursing through what’s left of your brain after 12 hours in Andheri West.Andheri Fire Station, Near Bharat Petrol Pump, Swami Vivekanand Marg, Irla Bridge, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 058. 90), Tennis (Rs. In the evening, this is the place to be, and just be. Hence, absent are littering families and screaming children. I dunno, figure it out, men. Phone: 022 3969 8091Option B — Roadhouse BluezIf you’re sufficiently sozzled, head over to Roadhouse Bluez and be prepared to be blasted backwards by an off-key voice screaming the lyrics of Another Brick In The Wall. 6 & 7, Upvan Building, D.Versova is not Andheri West. Rest on a wooden bench that hugs the curve of your back and watch a hip-hop crew practising in the gazebo.Ganeshji Iyengar, Shop No.m.Joeys Pizza, Shop No.Nagar, Madhuban Colony, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 053., you can play badminton (Rs. My grandmother is a very busy woman who has Malayalamserials to watch. 3, Bharat Ark, Veera Desai Road, Azad Nagar, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 058. Road, Next to Indian Bank, Madhav Nagar, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 058.m.If you happen to find yourself in its vicinity later in the day at around noon, dash in to claim the legendary mawa cakes; they disappear from shelves before you can say khoya (whattepun, whattefun!). Feel free to ask for extra saambaar.Option B - Hotel Radha KrishnaAndheri’s last surviving Irani succumbed to McDonald’s, but Radha Krishna - or RK, as locals call it - is alive and cooking.Harish Lunch Home, 115, S. And Lokhandwala is practically its own principality. Juhu is beyond its borders. Road, Irla, Vile Parle (w), Mumbai 400 056. Merwans offers a diverse, delicious (all hail the Kabuli chicken!), and ridiculously affordable breakfast.Option A - Joeys PizzaThere is a moment after you have single-mouthed-ly engulfed an entire keema do pyaaza pizza when your chin nuzzles your chest, eyelids melt into each other, and your sticky hand is too exhausted to rise up all the way up to your face and wipe the Joker-ish smear of Joey’s sauce that is accentuating your lips. Phone a friend, go over, and go to sleep.St. Pretend to shop at Susanne Khan’s Charcoal Project for furniture that غير مجاز مي باشدts almost as much as the Peacock Throne did. Joey’s makes it worth living in Andheri West. So catch a late afternoon show at Fun Republic, where the cheapest seats are as luxurious as the Peacock Thrones in other multiplexes nearby.If you find that you can’t drag your eyes away from a particularly handsome young specimen reading a novel as he savours his rava masala, come over and say hi.Option A - Amboli VillageYes, a village, in Andheri West, complete with a Cold Storage and Village Beer Shop. Delectable food.Andheri Sports Complex, Veera Desai Road, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 053. 225), Squash (Rs. Phone: 022 2630 4808Option B - Harish Lunch HomeCartographically, this is just over the border in Vile Parle, but since I lived nearby and ordered in often, I’ve claimed it for Andheri. Everyone knows someone who lives here.

They substitute white chutney for the tastier green one and throw in a tiny bowl-let of orange onion chutney.4:30 p. Bring your own sports gear. The altitude screens out traffic, noise and pollution, creating a tranquil, windy perch that offers a bird’s-eye view of the burbs. Pub, grub, and entertainment hub, Brewbot is curated perfection under one roof. 240), and Pickleball (Rs. Watch planes take off over the dirty grey sea and watch the sun set over it. V. The cashier says they’re sold out by 2 p.Option A — BrewbotLocally brewed craft beer. Don’t be shy.1:00 p. Road, Opp. Phone: 022 2628 019711:30 a. And if you cock a ear, you can eavesdrop on a corner store conversation conducted in pure Konkani. If ye possess fortitude, a sense of humour, and feet that itch to be run over by demented bikes, read on. Bump into a theatre actor rehearsing his lines, asking a peepul why she left him.m. Instead, you’ll find scores of tall, wild trees looming over well-manicured shrubs, intersected by walking paths used by very few.Navrang Cinema, Near Metro Bridge, JP Road, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 058.Option A - Ganeshji Iyengar Fast FoodPotted palms attempt to purdah this Bangalore Iyengar eatery/open-air café from a teeming road. What the meat-freaks may miss out on is the most comforting, nourishing, flavourful Dal Khichdi they will ever have. Almost. Phone: 093247 06250— By arrangement with thecitystory.Option A - Merwans Cake ShopThroughout my parents’ childhood and mine, Merwans was the Willy Wonka of bakes and confectionery. Slip away from Graphene Fabric Manufacturers deafening Caesar Road (look out for the stateliness of Victoria Cottage) and into the quietude of sun-dappled lanes lined by quaint houses with names like Richards Pride and Myrtle’s Dream.9:30 a.KP Udyan, near Versova police station, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 058. Brewbot takes its beers seriously — it describes the "mouthfeel" of each brew and suggests dishes that would pair well with them. Neither is Four Bungalows, nor is Seven. It’s a pity they’ve stopped making their signature rum balls, but you can always console yourself with a loaf of sliced plum cake embedded with fruit chunks marinated in something strong and spirited. Closed on Thursdays.For better or worse, this has been my home for 15 years, and I have found - amidst the incessant gridlocks, cookie-cutter apartment towers, and token footpaths colonised by two rows of hawkers - a few redeeming features that root me to my gaon. The Andheri West I knew was a laidback, mostly residential neighbourhood that an outsider zoomed through to reach snazzier locales. Blaise Church and fanning out behind it, Amboli gaothan has been living and loving for centuries before the first skyscraper.Hotel Radha Krishna, No.Option A - anywhere indoorsLet’s cut to the chase: it’s hot, you’re in a food coma and need to recuperate semi-horizontally, preferably with air-conditioning. Carnivores from far and wide congregate here for its superlative seafood with a South Indian twist, shorn of branding and brouhaha. French-kiss a Black Mamba (Chocolate oat cream stout), experience the quirkiness of a Botwork Orange (Belgian Wit). Phone: 022 2624 8157. Or go watch a Bhojpuri film at Navrang with an all-male crowd. If you choose to spend half your day here, you most certainly will.m. Its time has come. Umbilically connected to St. Blaise Church, Amboli, Caesar Road, Andheri (w), Amboli, Mumbai 400 058. Just the right consistency, with a squeeze of lemon, a little pickle, and a mouthful of bliss.V. 2, DE Mall, New Chandra CHS LTD.Fun Republic, Shah Industrial Estate, Veera Desai Road, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 053. Hope you encounter the genial manager instead of the grumpy one and order anything South Indian. Or spend an hour-and-a-half trying on every last scrap of fabric in Fab India.m. This karaoke bar takes its music seriously; there are no lulls, no friends pushing each other to take the mic, no I-give-up-I-can’t-sings. And wine not? For too long, beer in Bombay has been an Outcider in the world of sophisticated spirits; a Draft Punk.com.N. Point and guess the locations of every place on this list youve visited.m.Option B — Kala Pradarshini UdyanUnlike most public gardens, this one does not boast of a lawn. Its modest size precludes any conversation but helps bind the audience — singers and listeners alike — into one chummy scrum of music lovers. No one will mind; some may pause to watch. You don’t need to be a member or even pay a deposit; from Tuesday to Saturday between 10 a. Phone: 022 6193 6198Fab India, Unit No. Drop by to gawk at fire engines and uniformed firemen lounging and chatting with their families that live on the premises. On most mornings, its savouries counter resembles a raucous action house, where students and office-goers clamber over each other to grab a smorgasbord of puffs stuffed with the most delightful fillings, and rolls with buns so soft, you can almost see them go googly-woogly-woosh. 150), Table Tennis (Rs. Phone: 022 2673 0333Option B — Ganesh Temple, Andheri Fire BrigadeIt’s weird, perhaps even unfashionable, to recommend a place of worship, particularly if you, like me, are irreligious.m. V. Rates are per court/table per hour, excluding 18% GST.Merwans Cake Shop, 9/12/13, S. What started as an Udupi joint now has something called risotto pomobhara on the menu (no, I haven’t a clue) but RK’s idlis, vadas, dosas,  and uttapams remain finger lickin’ good, unlike a KFC opposite that came, saw, gave up and shut down. Phone: 022 2679 2756Option B - Andheri Sports ComplexEarn your lunch! Shahaji Raje Bhosle Kreeda Sankul is a BMC-run sports facility responsible for making those of us who live in the vicinity look slim and trim (or so we like to think). and 4 p. If Andheri and you were to be connected on Facebook, your mutual friends would number in two, if not three digits.Brewbot, G-01 & 101, Morya Landmark 1, Off New Link Road, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 053. Phone: 022 65517111Option B - Go to a friend’s house and sleepNo, I’m not becoming shaana. This is the kind of place at which you can order by looking at the ceiling (there’s nothing there, the ambience is Spartan) and stabbing at the menu - whatever your finger lands on is the yummiest pizza in the suburbs. Sing us a song, you’re the piano man, sing us a song tonight, well we’re all in the mood for a melody, and you’ve got us feeling alright…Roadhouse Bluez, Ground/1st Floor, Tokyo House, Next to Andheri Sports Complex, Azad Nagar, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 053. Shoppers Stop, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 058. Drop in on a Sunday morning to see families wolfing down their Sunday breakfast, a tradition passed down generations.Gilbert Hill, غير مجاز مي باشدar City, Andheri (w), Mumbai 400 047.m. Were I to relaunch the Chicken Soup series in India, I’d title it Dal Khichdi For The Soul; the book jacket would sport a picture of Harish’s finest offering. Live music and stand-up comedy.If you bump into a short, stout, friendly South Indian lady clad in white, don’t expect to be invited home for chaaya (tea). Linger over your filter coffee, served in a tumbler and dabara. But this unostentatious temple is an oasis — set back from the road, about the size of your kitchen, an idol less than a foot high, no priest, no loudspeakers, no queue, and often no people. Then, years ago, it was paralysed by the Real Estate Virus; today, its middle-class residents are horrified by the glut of man and machine on its once sufficiently-wide roads, and Andheri West doesnt know what to do with itself.6 pmOption A — Gilbert HillClimb the stairs up this 200ft-high monolithic rock to get a 360-degree view of Andheri (west). 300). Phone: 022 2671 57583:00 p. Keep one eye roving for a banana grove, endure the fierce glares of Christian dowagers in frocks and middies (and the most beautiful dresses for Sunday Mass). Hic.m.If you ever spend half a day in Andheri West, you might need therapy.